License Plates & Car Titles
City County Building Downtown. It's just across the street from the old run-down high school (the place with the statue that looks like Stevie Ray Vaughn) and just West of the Wells Fargo. You'll have to take a number and wait for about 20 minutes.

Be ready to shell out some dollars for the plates. My miniature pickup cost me over $130 bucks. The county doesn't have the guts to impose any local taxes so they just whimper and gouge the be-jesus out of you once a year.

Drivers Licenses
There's a little DMV building on Mendenhall just West of the Safeway grocery. Bring lots of reading material because the geriatric staff can only work so fast while trying to reminisce about the days when you didn't need a license (apparently back when you needed a saddle and a bag of oats).

Air Conditioners
Go to Wal-mart and don't bother with Vann's. They are so pathetically backward and rude that I eagerly await the day they go out of business. Why is it that these scumbags treat you like crap unless you have $6,000 to drop on a new tv? Go to Wal-mart where the sales people are professional, the aisles are less cluttered, and the stock is usually a few days away from being replenished (if it is not already there).

Car Parts
Checker is okay (next to Staples). But don't expect too much from workers who think working on cars means adding a coffee can to the back of a civic. The Bumper-to-Bumper downtown has the best selection of parts for people who actually work on cars (Checker is for folks who like fuzzy dice and metallic stickers). If you really like to get your hands dirty try the Montana Machine shop downtown. This is one of the few parts stores that actually runs a machine shop (maybe one of the few left in the country).

Coffee
Rocky-Mountain Roasting on Mendenhall (the street just north of Main). The French-Roast is just stinkin awesome and costs the about same as the Starbucks store-bought stuff.

Computers and Electronics
Not many choices here. Start at Staples, then try Wal-Mart. Then try Target or Kmart for the basic stuff (if you get desperate). Forget Vann's. They don't carry anything useful and the doe-eyed staff doesn't know the difference between a monitor and a box full of marbles. For cables definitely go to Radio Shack (on the far end of Main street caddy-corner to the 'big' Bozeman Mall). The prices are way cheaper than Staples and has a better selection of cat-5, monitor extensions, and serial/null-modems.

Flooring
Pierce, on the North side of Main street just West of 19th. Don't go to the local lumber yard because they'll try to sell you a two-dollar stick of wood for ten dollars (if you know what I mean).

Burgers
Burger Bob's (on the Northeast corner of Willson and Main and next to a bar called the 'Cannery') is the best burger in town. There's a Fudruckers over by the mall, but don't bother since Bob the burgermeister does it better. Don't go to Hardee's. The place is so filthy-dirty that looks like the inside of a trashed-out trailer from the show COPS (the one with the belligerent drunk who's wearing the wife-beater tank-top t-shirt).

Mexican
I've lived in Texas so you can't fool me by throwing together a few tortillas and calling it Mexican food. Santa Fe Red's on North 7th is the best Tex-Mex you'll get here. The rule is, if you don't get free chips and salsa when you sit down then you're not in the right place for Mexican food.

Disgusting Mexican
Nothing beats a night out on the town where you fill your gut with cheap beer then need something in your stomach to sop up the rest of the booze. Taco Johns was made for these nights. Get the big fat burrito with the potato cakes inside and you'll soak up enough booze that you'll be back to chugging Micky's widemouths again in no time.